As the years go by, we find ourselves more and more amazed as to how some adults fail to have fundamental moral values in them. These have resulted in wide spread character education shifts in the education industry with more resources being devoted to teaching moral education in schools.
However, it has come to the attention of educators that kids are simply absorbing moral education classes and parroting back to adults what they want to hear. Now it’s not that your child doesn’t understand the importance of such values, it is perhaps because they value their personal wellbeing more than values. For example, most kids know that stealing is wrong, yet they still enjoy stealing because perhaps the act of stealing brings them a certain thrill that they’ve never felt before. And what is worse is that your child does not understand these feelings and will not know how to cope with them.
With that being said, we should aim for something more than mere values when parenting our kids. Perhaps another approach would be focusing on the morality in your child and not merely their values.
It is easy for your child to know that honesty is good or that stealing is bad. But what really seals the deal is not knowledge but understanding. Helping your child build his or her moral identity is what matters most. Your child needs to commit to the values he has learnt and actually allow them to define himself when growing up. So the next time you’re telling your child that stealing is bad, or that he needs to tell the truth, try accompanying it with actions that defines the values so that he would associate these values with them in the future.
Often times, it is negative emotions such as fear or anger that overrides the values taught to your children. Teaching your child to manage such emotions not only prevents them from acting rashly when experiencing these emotions, it helps them to better understand themselves and would serve to do well in the future.
Even as adults, many of us face moral dilemmas so we could expect our children to encounter them as well. Often times it deals with loyalty and honesty where our children may be expected not to rat on a friend for example. When this happens, we have to help our children by teaching them to set priorities and take on multiple perspectives before arriving at a conclusion.
Ultimately, we want our child to mature and take responsibility for themselves and in doing so, will help them learn more about morality in everyday life. Teach them the hardships involved and show them the way through careful nurturing and cultivation. You could always start slowly by letting them take charge of small things and develop their leadership roles or helping them with their social skills along the way. Give them their personal space and let them realise that their future is in their hands and not anybody else’s.