How To Win Friends And Influence People By Dale Carnegie

by James Tang (2456 views)
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Estimated reading time: 2 minutes

Many people have struggled throughout life with social anxiety issues without even realizing it. This can come in the form of being uncomfortable interacting with people outside of your social group, afraid of taking up responsibilities or even making friends. This is really very different from say, an introvert who has an inclination to be alone rather than a fear of being around people. Dale Carnegie author of one of the most influential books in history offers you some advice and tips on how to deal with people and carry yourself positively in the face of your inherent fears.

Through four different sections in his books, Carnegie covers fundamental techniques in handling people, ways to make people like you, winning people over with your way of thinking and being a leader without being off-putting to your inferiors. The book focuses on giving different techniques through examples in everyday life that Carnegie once experienced, making it both relevant and easy to digest at first glance. You do have to note that if you’re already proficient at conversing with people or persuading others without seeming like a tyrant, then this book would probably not benefit you much in many aspects. However, it will give you an insight on the right things that you’re probably already doing without you realising it.

Some of the important lessons that are especially important in the first topics include not kicking over the beehive when gathering honey. If you want to really make friends, then try to keep your criticisms and complaints to yourself. Not only does this prevent negativity, but it will prevent others from forming a poor impression of you. Separately, to make people like you more, the sure fire way is to listen. Many people enjoy talking about themselves, speaking their opinions and hearing, well, their very own voices. You don’t have to do much after this, just simply listen. 

Next, to win people towards your way of thinking is to avoid arguments from the beginning of the conversation. Arguments are pointless and appeal to those that are looking to proof something. If you find yourself starting an argument, drop the subject gracefully and as quickly as possible. Even better, if you find yourself in the wrong, admit it on the spot as quickly as you can. Don’t hide behind your arrogance or be angry about it, simply accept that you’re wrong humbly and move on. Not only will the opposite party respect your humility, but the negativity in the air is cleared rather quickly. Lastly, to be a leader is to know how to command people without being offensive or arousing resentment. Always aim not to command another but instead guide them towards involving themselves in the solution. Additionally, it is never good to criticize another directly even if their mistakes are blatant. Instead, try to suggest alternatives that would lead them to see the flaws in their methods. 

These are merely some of the more important lessons that you can expect yourself to find in “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. If you felt as though the ideas presented here are great for you, then don’t hesitate and grab your copy of it in the nearest library. The book has been around since 1936 so you’ll be able to easily procure a copy of it in most bookstores.

Here is the link to the free Ebook: How to win friends and influence people.