Estimated reading time: 4 minutes "Happy wife, Happy life" Donnie Yen One spouse is the most important partner in life yet at times, they could be so busy with their lives in order of career, kids and then spouse. One cannot forget how each of you plays a part in making the marriage work, how each of you has contributed to the family. Having said that could we reflect on whether our spouse's love tank are constantly filled to keep the marriage or relationship healthy. We are all unique and therefore we have different love languages and it might have changed over time. It takes an effort to learn one's partner language, or simply go back to the ways you used to love when you were dating. The following are the different love languages, do spend a few minutes to learn it and open up the communication with your partner. One way of showing love might not necessary fit the other.
What are words of affirmation; it is simply showing that you had observed what your spouse did for the family or kids, taking note of it and to praise them accordingly. For example, a partner might be quite focused on their career, the rationale could be them wanting a better life for the family and therefore wanting to bring in additional dough and bacon. The partner who puts in the effort to make sure the kids gets to school on time, preparing lunch or dinner for the family. Do take note of their actions and pay sincere compliments.
Quality time can be segregated into 2 different categories, which are Quality conversation and Quality activities. How some partners desire to communicate with their other half, with undivided attention. With the affordability of smartphone, even a primary school kid owns one of them. When having dinner together, leave the smartphone somewhere far away, have quality time and conversation together. What could be so important on Facebook, twitter or Instagram? By Quality conversation it could also mean to simply listen to your partner, acknowledge that you are listening by simply nodding, they might be asking for a listening ear and not a solution to their issue.
One partner might love rock climbing, the other might not necessary like it. If your partner is forever suggesting rock climbing to you, go try it and put in your best effort. What your partner was actually saying to you is that he/she would want to spend some quality time with quality activities with you. Or it can be a family affair to have quality activities together. Pay heed to what your partner is trying to tell you or simply ask each other what activities you would like to do and come to a compromise.
Partners would like their other half to show affection via acts of service, and services could vary from person to person. An example would be, a husband who comes home from work he would show love by telling his wife how beautiful she is and that he loves her. The wife love tank will be filled considering that her language is words of affirmation. The same scenario might not work for a partner whose language of love is an act of service. A husband who comes home from work can mention he loves his wife and so on, but the wife might think otherwise, thinking why didn't he help me do the chores around the house to show that he love me. Do have an open communication if your partner language is an act of service; ask them what I could do for them to make them feel love. Do not force your partner into doing it, rather make a gentle request and let them know doing this will make me feel loved.
Buying gifts or simply doing up a simple card are ways of giving gifts to your partner. It might not necessary have to be expensive items unless of course you have a deep pocket and that your partner loves receiving such gifts. It is the thoughts that count into the gifts which shows one is thinking of them when selecting the present. You could do it on a weekly basis.
Touching your partner the appropriate way in public is one of the languages, like holding hands or putting one arm around their shoulder. The key word here is appropriate, places where your partner will feel comfortable with. You can do an assessment for yourself to understand what your love language is; do share it with your partner after you are done to keep the love going!