Reading time: 3 minutes When I attended Parents Engagement Session as a school teacher, a common complaint I heard from parents were their children's inability to focus on their studies. More often than not, my students would be buried in their smart phones in school and back in their own homes. Why? Because it's instantly gratifying. The Internet and Social Media offer tons of stimuli which excite us. We find that exceptionally enjoyable and end up spending hours on electronic devices. Not to mention that such devices are easily accessible these days. Let's also be truthful - as adults, we are glued to our electronic devices for the same reasons. Point is, it may not be helpful over the long run. So you have heard of the Stanford marshmallow experiment, which discovered that delayed gratification is one of the main cause of success in later life. But how do one actually learn to delay gratification? The following methods will demonstrate concrete steps you can take to help you and your child exercise delayed gratification and set those smartphones aside so that your child may focus on his or her studies:
To resist instant gratification, you need to help your child see the benefits of delayed gratification. Your child needs to be convinced that by setting aside distractions and revising the chapter on Algebra with eventually get him or her an 'A' in the upcoming Mathematics Test. To add to that, good academic grades will translate to more opportunities in life. In the same way, helping your child be aware of the consequence of failing the Mathematics Test as a result of spending too much time on smartphones can help him or her to delay gratification.
Mere knowledge is of no use unless you follow up with action. You have to exercise some tough love and force your child to revise his or her work instead of surfing the Internet. I am not implying that you should threaten your child with the cane. Rather, you should set constraints so that your child may exhibit the desired behaviour. For example, set rules to discourage your child from using electronic devices. Offer rewards for a job well done. Break the big and boring task down into smaller and manageable tasks. Supervise your child at close intervals. Once your child gets into the habit of being studious, he or she no longer requires direct supervision.
We all need to know if we are on the right track whenever we are doing something. Same goes for your child. It is critical that you give constant feedback to your child regarding the benefits reaped for following new habits involving delayed gratification. Gradually, your child will believe that the new habits are helping him or her excel academically. Your child's resistance for delayed gratification will fade eventually. Having read this article, you emerge wiser. Remember: Don't give up what you want most, for what you want now.